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Started when I was in college, a sophomore or so. Sex had become usual, and it was more a physical need than a pleasure." Did it often?" What?" Casual sex." A bit." How much is a bit?" None of your business." That's a lot." I hated it, fucking and leaving, fucking and telling someone to leave, fucking and waking up with a stranger that I felt no connection to but for the sexual attraction the night before." But you still did it." Less and less. Until I practically stopped." Never had a girlfriend?" Of course I did. Why?" What was sex with her like?" It was better."I knew what she was going to ask. "What about me?" I feel really depressed. When I walk out through that door."She hugged me tighter."The first time we did it ... I arrived home feeling guilt, sick, disgusted with myself. I hated myself," Athena said. "I took a long bath, very long, because I could not clean myself. Then he arrived, behaving as he ever did. And through the next week, everything was the same. Nothing had. I knew that all of the men ringing me were at the other end of the line,cock in hand,but I didn't care.I pretended to them that I was in sexy lingerie,or stilleto heals,or whatever they wanted.I would tease out what turned them on,and magically,that's what I was wearing.And I pretended to myself that they were all tall dark and handsome.It made it easier.Sometimes I was really wearing tracksuit bottoms and an old t-shirt really,but I suppose they were more fat and grey than Mr Grey from 50 shades.Then one day a woman rang.She sounded cute.I asked her what she looked like and she described herself as petite with small perky breasts,sporty,with long brown hair.I found myself describing myself honestly.I told her I was tall,slimish,after 3 k**s,with dyed blonde hair.I told her I had 36dd tits, a present from my ex boyfriend.She asked what I was wearing,and I laughed,and told her a pair of well worn levi jeans,and a top from A-Wear with Sponge Bob Squarepants on.She asked me which A-Wear.
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